Love guru Matthew Hussey is teaching men the art of successful dating

Matthew Hussey might have trained as a real estate agent, but it's his knack for conversation and selling love tips that saw the Brit hit the entrepreneurial jackpot.

After a failed attempt to get a job with a top tier property firm after university, Hussey decided to become a public speaker, one who initially gave advice to guys [friends then strangers] about dating. Fast forward several years and Hussey is now a  New York Times best-selling author whose word women hang off in order to better understand how a man thinks.

It was a book on his father's bookshelf that set him on his future path of mentoring and the art of psychology.

A revelation

"When I was 11, I read How to Win Friends and Influence People. I was hooked," recalls Hussey.  

"It was like a mini revelation to me, that you could be better at those things," he says.

"I quickly learned success wasn't just dependant on getting good grades.  I was smart enough to know successful people had an ability to tell a story and the older I got – whether it be on a date or a meeting with a company - one's ability to tell a story will define your success and how much you connect with people," he says.

Like a fish to water

With no formal training, he decided to launch his own website at 21, streaming videos on relationship advice and now has more than 2.6 million Facebook fans plus a dedicated YouTube channel which is the envy of his competitors. It also helps that Hollywood's A-list sing his praises – with everyone from Tyra Banks to Ryan Seacrest hooked on his every word – and they're carefully selected ones at that.

Hussey's got the gift of the gab, which he says he inherited from his father Steve who lost the family home twice due to some risky business decisions: "The five of us moved into a caravan thereafter. It hasn't always been an easy road and I learned a lot from seeing dad in business – sometimes successfully and other times the complete opposite," he recalls.

He wrote How To Get The Guy with his younger brother Stephen, who has a Doctorate in Political Philosophy at Oxford – the core message to his audience - be the one who chooses not the chosen one.

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Hussey, who is now dating 21-year Cuban/American pop star Camila Cabello, says his relationships aren't easier because he's giving out advice. It's about being the best you can be and when at your worst, recognising it and stopping bad habits.

 

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The expert's advice

His advice for men when dating is to engage in eye contact.

"I see blokes do it all the time. They are busy looking their phone rather than be in the moment with a woman."

And when in a textual conversation with a potential date, try picking up the phone on day three and tell her you'd love to meet up.

"The ability to stand out is so much easier with social media," he quips.

"Because everyone is looking for the easy way out with a text.

"I would rather compete with any man today than Don Draper from the 1950s who knew how to be charming. I'd rather compete with Todd who is checking his Instagram comments while he's sitting with a lovely woman at the table. Rather than lament this new dating epoch, celebrate it. If you can still be good in a room you're in the best position to take advantage," says Hussey.

A lot to learn

With the rise of the #metoo and #timesup movement gaining traction in the media, Hussey says men have never felt more uncertain of their position in the dating game.

"Men are trying to figure it out and there is so much they need to learn," he suggests.

"Men need to know when they make someone feel uncomfortable and that discomfort is something they should take seriously and not turn a blind eye to," he says.

"We've grown up in an environment where men are told to be bold and sexy. They don't know what boldness means anymore. Many good men are trying to figure out what it means to be a confident and conscientious man, while also being told nice guys always finish last.

"I say hang in there and don't let social media cripple your social skills and remember, tell someone they're attractive in person."

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