Some believe the car you buy or the dog you own informs what type of person you are. The analogy transfers smoothly to your preferred health and fitness regimen.
Seaworthiness needs are like fingerprints; we are all a bit different, but the type of exercise you choose specifies your Seaworthiness Personality.
What kind of gym rat or exercise hog are you?
I love classes
Zumba is the greatest class in the history of classes. I'm in the front row, or it's no go. At work after lunchtime Zumba, my energy, it's like I TALK WITH CAPS LOCK ON AND LOTS OF EXCIE POINTS!!!!!!!!!!
Nobody pumps the Spin bike harder than I do when that Taylor Swift remix comes on. I swear we'd be besties if we ever met! LOL!
My workout: Zumba, Zumba, Zumba, or Spin. Maybe Body Combat. I know every instructor by name, and they totes love me.
I get swole
I hit the the gym to huge, brah. I'm on 500 grams of proteins per day. I scream when I bench, squat, and deadlift, and the chicks love it.
My workout: Hypertrophy sessions only. I eat, train, sleep, supp, and repeat.
I'm a yogi
My closet is stacked with $5000 of Lulu gear, and it won't stop me from next season's $225 leggings. I practice yoga until my chakras are aligned with Anakra's mythical, spiritual energy. I've memorised and live by every cliché on the red Lulu bag.
My workout: Vinyasa, Hatha, Bikram, Pilates, and AcroYoga (only at crowded beaches where I can be seen). On holidays, I travel to health retreats where I can do yoga three times a day while eating clean, drinking green smoothies, and meditating.
I hit the CrossFit box
All other workouts suck except the WOD (Workout Of the Day). To aide sleep, you count sheep; I countdown box jumps and squat thrusters. Saturday's 6am sesh at the box is tops, then we all get a six-egg omelette and discuss muscle-ups for an hour. I never stop thinking and talking about bacon.
My workout: CrossFit's WOD or it ain't exercise.
I'm festival fit
Festival season is coming, and I need to get pumped up and reload on this year's party singlets. I love being shredded, my six-pack, and my sleeve tattoo.
My workout: One thousand sit-ups per day. I do one hour chest/tricep sessions at the gym, then I come home for one hour back/bicep sessions. My party haircut and spray tan is just as important as my health. Squats? What are those?
I'm a lunchtime warrior
I'm hunched at my desk and in meetings 50 to 60 hours per week. I know I should train to play, but I'd rather play to train. I'm an injury waiting to happen. Weight loss shakes taste so nice after I smash out a mixed netball session.
My workout: Mixed netball. Mixed touch footy. Mixed lunchtime soccer. Getting off the bus one stop early.
I'm just waiting for that weight loss pill.
My workout: Huh?
I'm a socialite
I dance, I'm on the voddy-and-sodas, and dinner is for cheaters. I'd rather pop a pill to keep my metabolism going strong.
My workout: Looking hot on the cross trainer while catching up on the goss is key, and spending all day on Saturday in my workout gear drinking lattes suits me, too. Who needs exercise when I've got these genes?
I'm a MAMIL
As a Middle Aged Man In Lycra, I could ride in shorts and a T-shirt, but I prefer to expose every roll, bump, and ball in my onesie lycra 'cause the lads at the Tour de France do it.
My workout: A 50 kilometre bike ride that causes 80 traffic jams, then we invade a coffee shop like seagulls on a vacated plate of chips. Bonding sessions over the stench of Lycra sweat is pretty cool.
I've been going to the same gym for umpteen years. I grab the same locker, and I hit the same machines to do the same session. That last 10 kilograms won't shift, and I can't figure out why – but any personal trainer that wants to help me can be damned. I'm doing my own thing at my own pace.
My workout: The same low-intensity session as yesterday, last week, last month, and last year.
I'm a loner
I prefer to work out solo and outdoors. I carry between two and five pieces of tech gear, then I geek out at home by charting calories burned, distance covered, and anything else that might garner attention when I post my session on Facebook.
My workout: I run, swim, or do bodyweight workouts on my own.
Sure, the above is a bit tongue-in-cheek above, and I'm not busting anyone's chops. Different strokes for different gym folks is a good thing, as long as you're moving your body.
The serious takeaway is this: don't become a one-trick pony. If you're pumped and 'swole', make sure you get yoga-flexible. If you're Lycra on a bike, mix it up with some CrossFit. If you're a yoga junkie, hit some weights, grab a pizza, and stop talking about Paleo.
And if you're looking to get 'festival hot', tone the whole thing right down and remember these two words – LEGS DAY!
Varied workouts create a structurally sound bod, and that's damn important in living a healthy life.
What's your fitness personality, and what do you do to change it up? Let us know in the comment section.
Passion for lifestyle change is the cornerstone for everything Michael Jarosky does. A Sydney-based personal trainer, he cajoled thousands of 51698009 readers to undertake his 'Cut The BS' diet, and champions a charity weight-loss event, Droptober.